Can you drown in tears?
(Colic and reflux) + (Teething and early onset terrible twos) = a shit tone of crying + many sleepless nights. This is currently the equation of our life. I always hated maths. Still do.
Apparently, one can drown in as little as 2 inches of water… in all honesty being a mammy, there are days I don’t even need water in order to drown, but anyway. So, working on that basis, considering the volume of tears shed per hour, per baby, and admittedly myself too, at the moment, I reckon we should invest in some life jackets and buoyancy aids of some description. We’re bordering on a tsunami here and I’m really not sure how likely survival is for us. A few weeks ago, my boobs would have kept the TiT-anic afloat, never mind a small family, and in a way I suppose they kind of did, as I was a similar size to that of said Titanic. But, they have since dried up and are now more saggy tripping hazard than bouncy buoyant inflated balloons, and so prove more perilous than protective. This is unfortunate because at the current rate of tear production in our house, by the end of the week, we are going to be living in an aquarium not a bungalow. It’s a pity the tears wouldn’t dry up instead of my boobs… typical. We may have to look into employing David Hasslehof as a manny... or not, the boys would end up crying in slow motion, yikes.
The forecast is bleak. Predictions are for continuous downpours and heavy flooding for the foreseeable… I wonder if that’s what happened Noah… did he actually have two boys under 16 months too and that’s why he built his ark? Hmm.
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