Can you die from sleep deprivation?


 

Pretty sure I fell asleep on the toilet the other day. Even in my hardcore festival days I wasn’t awake or unwashed for this many days straight. Don’t think I ever fell asleep on the toilet then either, surprisingly. A new level of tiredness has been reached, a level of tiredness I never knew a human could survive. If this even is survival, I’m not entirely sure I’m actually still alive. I definitely look, feel and smell like a corpse. There’s no filter in the world that could save me and make this shit look even remotely good. When the kids grow up they'll probably wonder who actually raised them coz there’ll be no photo evidence of me, I refuse to have this visually documented. I often wonder who are these people on social media who have small kids but still manage to have their hair and makeup done, wearing a cute vomit free outfit all fresh faced and smiling in their perfectly staged photo. How do they have the time? It takes me eight hours to find a chance to pee and then I fall asleep. 

The other night I asked my other half, if it were possible to die from a lack of sleep. It was a genuine question coz I thought I was on the way out. We googled it. Apparently, although rare, prolonged sleep deprivation can be fatal. ‘Prolonged’, such a vague and non commital description. What exactly is a quantified definition of prolonged? Days? Weeks? Years? Somewhere in between? Coz I’m fairly certain it’s terminal here and my days are numbered. So, although the answer is technically yes you can, it would appear no parent has actually passed away from sleep deprivation. Well, not yet anyway, but there’s always a first time for everything. Sleep deprivation is a legitimate form of torture and has been used as an interrogation technique for years. As a mother of two under fifteen months I’m not sure who my babies work for or what information they think I’m hiding but I’m on the cusp of breaking and am willing to tell them absolutely anything they want to know. It could only have been a baby who came up with the idea, it’s just cruel enough. Babies are mean. They’re smart, and they're mean. Just when you think you can’t go on any longer, they throw you a bone, a few minutes of blissful, undisturbed sleep, just enough to keep you alive, so that you can in turn keep them alive… selfish, mean and smart… but beautiful and loveable… obviously.


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